There are countless stories that chronicle the tales of misappropriated passions. Fables tell of the difference between youthful romance and stable, genuine affection. Passion, not love, ignores the truth of relationships. Passion is unconcerned with reciprocity. Passion downplays incompatibilities, emphasizes glorified preconceptions and even has the power to readjust personal values. When passion burns up quickly what remains can be claustrophobia.
Surely, Evan was evidence of that. What Emily saw in Miyuki’s eyes as she came for her Thursday night one-on-one English lesson with Evan was hopeless passion. What she saw in Evan’s eyes was the shadow of diversion. He was polite, even flirtatious with Miyuki, but it was without meaning. There was no promise of a future rendezvous anymore when he saw her to the door uttering “Ja mata ne!”
That is why Emily’s mind was at peace when she pondered the upcoming arrival of Jaden, her boyfriend on and off for the past two years. Together, they had never let themselves become so carried away with passion that they let their emotions steal their future. They had experienced the closest intimacy and long-term separation. This is how she knew she was not addicted to his physical presence.
Throughout their months apart Emily and Jaden kept regular contact. Every Saturday morning she would log onto her computer and Skype with him as Friday evening set upon Beantown. For an hour the two would recount their week’s adventures before he logged off to join his friends downtown at Sunset Bar while Emily left to hike to one of her favorite Shinto shrines followed by her Ikebana flower arrangement class.
The comfortable rhythm of their relationship was never meant to be permanent. They had lived together in the months prior to Emily’s departure to Japan, and it was always envisioned that after two years the two would reunite in Boston and attend Harvard Law School together. Their future plans were a source of security in their otherwise transitioning lives, but they were also safely guarded in the untouchable state of distant dreams.
At 9:00 am, Emily had been waiting at Kansai Kuukou International Airport for 45 minutes. Jaden’s plane had been delayed after an ice storm in his layover city of Chicago prevented the plane from taking off for 2 hours. Emily’s heart felt still even as her brain congratulated herself on her calm demeanor. After 7 months she and the man of her future would be reunited and she felt not a single butterfly. She was at peace, and this even-mindedness could only be an indication that what she and Jaden shared was far more than simple explosive passion.
As Jaden’s plane came closer to Osaka, Emily took her time to reflect and recall fond memories of her life with Jaden. She mused on their future life together as she shuffled through her iPod.
Funny. Neil Young seemed to pop up more than normal and she found this mellow song to resonate with her heart. When all the adventures she was having now, all the adventures she had in store for the future were said and done, this is what would remain. This would be there to cushion her heart as it exchanged a lust for adventure for the love of peaceful, quiet simplicity. In the end, there was a slow dance years in the future when they were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. She could smell the wooden floor they rocked their feet on. She could feel his wrinkled hands caressing her arm with familiar affection, starkly in contrast to the feverish lust in the caress of the first night they consummated their relationship.
Because I’m still in love with you, I want to see you dance again. Because I’m still in love with you, on this harvest moon.
Tall, short black hair with tired eyes hiding behind reading glasses, Jaden finally came into view. He saw her as well and but maintained his pace. Finally the two met at an embrace that required neither tears nor words. She was where she belonged. He was where he belonged. Their relationship is solid, borne on a foundation of communication and mutual respect. The walls protecting their dreams are in perfect condition.
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