This blog was never supposed to be a forum for novel writing, it just fell into that state. If you read the first post ever, you'll see the intent was to simply talk about all things that interest me. From Gardening to Gaming.
So this is a critique of two books I just finished reading. I'll go line by line how they were terrible. However this blog can also be a good thing. For those interested, I have wrested the tidbits of good information in these books with chopsticks. One interested in the tales of Thedas can take this information without going through the drivel I have. I am saving you.
So yes, SPOILER ALERTS if you really are feeling masochistic and want to read the books.
1) The Stolen Throne by David Gaider
The first book begins with the death of the Rebel Queen, Alistair/Cailin's grandmother/ Maric's mother, and ends with Cailin's birth in a Ferelden recently liberated by Maric and crew. All of us who played Dragon Age: Origins (DAO) and read at least a handful of Codexes, and/or had the sound/subtitles turned on knows these two points in the history of Ferelden, and the idea of it served as a great plot mover and background in this complex game. There is no reason why getting from Point A to Point B had to be so bad.
The main characters: Maric, Loghain, Rowan
Lets begin here: character creation: DONE POORLY.
One gets the feeling that after DAO hit the market and made such a wonderful impression on a loyal fan base, including a plethora of Alistair Faingirls (I am one of them, it is true), David Gaider, masturbating to his own visage in the mirror, thought to himself, "I know how to make these books popular, I will make Alistair Part II! All of the girls will swoon and I shall make millions!"
Of course, time and time again George Lucas, *cough cough* I mean Mr. Gaider proves himself to be a victim of his own success. He took a collaborative work of art he had the major role in, and learned all the wrong lessons from it.
So lets get this straight. Alistair is NOT popular among the ladies because he once mentions cheese.
To recap the latter end of the lamppost conversation:
Alistair: "Ha ha ha. Your cruel interrogation will be remembered FOREVER. Or maybe just until lunch. Lunch makes everything better, oh look I have cheese!"
The quality of that particular line is not in his enjoyment of processed dairy products. It lies in painting his character as a defensive joker, someone who uses childlike excitement and humor to evade uncomfortable situations. Above all, his casual reference should not be inferred as a genetic trait.
Nonetheless, in both books we hear from Maric/King Maric about his love of cheese, and his dreams of Loghain and cheese.
Please. Put the cheese to rest.
Then there is Loghain. He was probably the least terribly drawn character only in that his book rendition did not detract from the game's rendition of him. That is to say, the boy Loghain did not negate the man Loghain. That also means he didn't exactly grow as a character.
Fine. Plenty of people never grow in their lifetime. I can accept that. What I cannot accept was how DAO, with its engaging storyline and twists and turns, is able to portray the friendship of Loghain and the then late Maric as a deep, brotherly relationship, but the book throws that away. That was the reason why Loghain's betrayal stung. That is why as he left Cailin, the only publicly known child of Maric, to die on the battlefield at the hands of a darkspawn orc, the player became entirely engrossed in the story. "What great wrong could have possibly occurred that would cause a man, so close to another man, essentially become the murderer of his son? Was he always evil? No, he couldn't have been if he had been brothers to the former king!"
It added complexity and mystery to the character that is Loghain. It made the player want to know more. And when it was time to choose whether Loghain was to live or die, it was part of that decision-making process. (for the record, I did kill Loghain, but if I could have kept Alistair with me and kept Loghain alive, I would have. So yes, I let Alistair slice up Loghain just so that Onion, my character, could keep having sweet sweet Alistair sex.)
Through out the book, however, the reader is never really given the impression that Maric and Loghain are close. Loghain begins by being highly annoyed, even threatening to the bumbling Maric. As time progresses, and the two are fighting side by side, and raising armies together, you get the sense that there could be something there.
Years of fighting together, or risking their lives for each other will burn away Loghain's cold veneer. As time goes on Maric will mature into a capable man Loghain will respect, as well as love!
At least that is how I hoped the story would progress in the early chapters. Just as token reference were being made to Loghain's warming feelings to his prince, even more quickly enter pieces in the story that cause him to dislike Maric more and more. I will get into these more later, but suffice to say this includes women and Maric's future role as king.
Maybe as a fan of the Aurbrey/Maturin series (think Master and Commander) I have elevated expectations of the portrayal of deep brotherly love, but the friendship of Maric and Loghain is sadly stillborn. By the end of book two the relationship between Loghain and Maric has not progressed past its state during the first half of book one. Loghain plays nursemaid to Maric's ascension to the throne, (pretty much in the same way the Warden does if you choose that path in DAO), and Maric plays the innocent philanderer to Loghain's displeasure.
Which brings us to our third main character: Rowan.
First, her father, Arl Rendorn, is essentially Arl Eamon Part II. Gaider has an obsession with turning character fathers into inferior copies of their sons. Because that always happens. That is the only way I can tell if people are related: they behave in the exact same way as their relative. This is not simply a matter of certain traits manifesting themselves in offspring. There is no hint of Eamon's or Cailin/Alistair's mothers actually contributing to their genetic make up. They are shallow versions of the same man.
Put bluntly, Arl Rendorn contributes to the plot in the exact same way that his son, Arl Eamon, does in DAO, minus the being poisoned by Loghain part. He is the right hand force trying to put the Therin back on the throne. Keeping the seed of Calenhad as the ruler of Ferelden is his main goal in life, regardless of the cost, regardless of any other viable options. He also serves and the tactical military adviser to Maric Therin. Ok ok. He does die 2/3rds of the way in the book. There, Rendorn and Eamon ARE different after all.
Rowan starts off as an admirable character, a la Eowyn of Lord of the Rings. She is strong, brave and skilled. She fights because she wants to and because she needs to, but she also has a side of her desperately searching for love. Having been betrothed to Maric since birth, she wants it from him. Even if Tolkien already did that, I can enjoy such a character.
Rowan didn't disappoint until the very end of the book. A quick synopsis:
Maric, Logain and Rowan build an army and secure Gwaren, the first town to be captured by the rebel forces since Maric's grandfather was defeated by the Orlesians. Hooray! things are looking up. An elven messenger from one of Maric's allies arrives. She is attacked, saved by Maric, and reports that the ally is dead, but that West Hill, a fort where money for the military arrives from Orlais, is ripe for the taking. In the meantime, Maric gets his white knight in shining armor complex on and humps the elf, Katriel.
They attack West Hill, but it turns out Katriel was actually a Bard from Orlais, a spy. She does everything she possibly can to make sure the rebel army is crushed until the very last minute, when her employer tells her that they were going to capture Maric, but now they decided it would just be better to kill him.
Oh, but the power of love! Katriel is so in love with Maric that while it was okay for him to be taken prisoner, paraded through Orlais and then be left to rot in a dungeon for the rest of his days, his being killed just won't do. Not that her change of colors helps the rebel army. Rendorn is killed, as are the vast majority of their forces, but oh the power of love comes just in time for Katriel to save Maric from his would-be assassins.
And a la Final Fantasy VIII, without any actual development of the Katriel-Maric relationship, the two form a love bond so deep it spans space and time itself.
So for all you romantics out there, here is the formula for lifelong love and obsession:
Katriel: Can I sleep with you?
Maric: Ok.
*hump hump hump*
I'm in love!
Obviously, when Rowan finds out about Katriel and Maric, she is sad. That is exactly her reaction. She is sad. She is also sad when Maric informs her that she is in love. Turns out she had a thing for Loghain anyway, but that is besides the point.
Maric mentions possibly making Katriel his queen and the reader can't help but see David Gaider getting a boner at the thought of all those tender teen girls lying awake at night, crying because they played Dalish or City Elf females and made Alistair King. But that is besides the point! DAO gave the player some tough choices to make, and what better way to enhance the story of DAO by making the previous generation make all those exact same choices all over again!
Then of course Loghain and Rowan find out that Katriel was in fact a spy and responsible for the deaths of thousands, including Rowan's father. They bring this to Maric's attention, and Maric kills Katriel. This act is referred to as a "mistake" by Maric all the way to the end of book two.
And here is also where Rowan fails. Pathetically. After Katriel is slain, in spite of the fact that the Bard nearly snuffed out the entirety of the rebel forces, in spite of the fact that her beloved father no longer exists due to this woman, her response to this all is to whine to Loghain, "But what if he really loved her?"
Is anybody supposed to take this character seriously? She is a battle hardened woman devoted to the cause of a) not being dead and b) removing the Orlesian usurpers, and all she thinks about is that her future husband might have loved a woman who lied to him at every turn? Really? Really?
Why is it that only the character on the extreme end of "devoid of any human sympathy"-spectrum (Loghain) is the ONLY character to feel that killing a spy that had already proven she was not to be trusted, was a good idea? I consider myself a pretty sympathetic person, but lets face it the bitch had to die.
Tomorrow: The Calling
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