I'm posting this on the off-chance that somebody tries to read all the Onion posts from day one. These posts are the most rough of rough drafts so names, language, concepts are often changing as I go back and edit, and re-edit and re-edit. This is the story up-to-date with all edits up to Chapter 12.
The updated pdf can be found here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B9tDRfZXg8tzZUdzdkMtcDB3bDA/view?usp=sharing
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