on Text Adventure fun

I feel the need to record this, because it was kind of a fun exercise.  I recommend trying it with a friend.  Somehow or another, in a conversation over g-chat today, Joe and I got sucked into the world of text based adventures.  At first, we were discussing snow, and how I have a ton of it and all I need do is open my front door to experience it.  Joe started out as the computer program with me as the player character.
 

open front door

 Joe:  you open the front door.  there is snow on the grass outside of you.  a kitten purrs nearby.  exits are out.

take kitten

 

Joe:  the kitten meows slightly as you pick it up.  you now have a kitten.

  

 i

 Joe:  I don't understand "i"

 

inventory

 

Joe:  you are holding:

kitten

 

put kitten in snow

 

Joe:  you toss the kitten into the snow.  it paws the snow curiously, then meows to come back inside.

 

say "hello Q" (My real life cat who also hates snow and demands to come back inside when thrown into it)
Joe:  the kitten transforms into a human wearing a Starfleet uniform and replies "Very good mon capitain.  How did you know it was me?"

say "Q get off my ship!"

  

Joe:  Q replies "I do so only because it suits me to leave."  And disappears in a flash.  

 

pee in snow

 

 Joe:  You wouldn't want to pee with your pants on.

 

take pants off

 

Joe:  You are no longer wearing pants.  The cold air from outside chills your butt.

 

pee name in snow

 

Joe:  How much did you have to drink today?  Somehow you have enough in you to write your whole name in the snow.  But now you are very, very cold.

 

put pants back on

 

 Joe:  You left your pants inside

 

go inside

 

Joe:  You go inside.  There are pants on the ground here.  The door is open letting cold air and snow in.

 

close door

 Joe:  The door is closed.  It's starting to get warmer.

 

wiggle penis

 

 Joe:  You've experienced too much shrinkage in the cold to do much wiggling right now.

 

look

 Joe:  You are standing in your house.  There is a computer here.  There is a wooden stove here.  There are pants on the ground.  There is a door leading outside.  Exits are up.

 

go up

 Joe:  You go up.  You have entered your bedroom.  There is a bookshelf here.  There is a large comfortable bed.  Your girlfriend sits in the bed reading.  She sees you enter and asks "Why aren't you wearing pants?"

 

(my response at this point was that this was dangerously close to becoming a porno, so this game is ended.  Later, we get back into the game while discussing the nature of human virtue and our conflicting hypothesis on it [me, that it is a societal construct and Joe that it is an objective quality]  I ask him to explain himself and he ponders whether or not to go down this rabbit hole.  To which I reply:
自分:  you have entered the Rabbit Hole.  Exits are down and out.

 

go down

 

 自分:  you go further down the rabbit hole.  After all ,you think, it is just a rabbit. 
then it bites off your head. YOU HAVE DIED

 

load save game 1

 

 自分:  you are in the Rabbit Hole.  Exits are out and down.

 

inventory

 

 自分:  you are holding:

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

 

go out

 

 自分:  you go out.  It is a lovely day aside from all the headless corpses around. 
Exits are north and west.

 

pull pin from holy hand grenade

 

自分:  you pull the pin from the holy hand grenade.  you feel it ticking.  you believe you have 3-5 seconds before it goes off.

 

count to 3

 

 自分:  1, 2, 5!

 

 toss grenade down hole

 

自分:  you toss the holy hand grenade just in time.  you hear an explosion and the rabbit is no more

  

go north

 

 自分:  you go north to a rock pile.  ahead of you is a large opening of a cave.  Exits are north and south.

 

 go north

 

 自分:  You enter the cave.  It is dark and musky inside.  There is just enough light to see some strange writing on the east wall.  Exits are south.

 

read writing

 

自分:  You read "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathea.  He who is valorous and pure of heart may find the Holy Grail in the Castle aaaaarrrrrrggghhh..." 

 

look

 

自分:  You look around the cave.  Luckily for you this is not an animated adventure.   It is dark and musky inside.  There is just enough light to see some strange writing on the east wall.  Exits are south.

 

  go south

 

自分: you go south to a rock pile.  ahead of you is a large opening of a cave.  Exits are north and south.

 

take rock

 

 自分:  you take a rock

 

look at rock pile

 

 自分:  it is just an ordinary rock pile.  Not one of those fancy rock piles.

 

go south

 

 自分:  you go south.  It is a lovely day aside from all the headless corpses around.  A large humanoid rabbit is waiting for you by a small rabbit hole.  Exits are north, east, and in the rabbit hole.

 look at corpses

  

自分:  The corpses look fresh and gruesome.  They do not look back at you.  The large humanoid rabbit crosses his arms and taps his foot impatiently at you.

  

 go east

 自分:  you go east.  you are in the foothills of several bare mountains.  in the distance you hear lightning and thunder.  A large humanoid rabbit is standing to the west of you.

exits are west and up.

 

  go up

 

 自分:  You climb the foot hills.  You realize it is not any old lightning storm, but it is being conjured by a strange old man wearing ram horns.  Downslope there is a large humanoid rabbit glaring at you.

Exits are down

 

 look at old man

  

自分:  The old man is gleefully conjuring up lightning with the mere movement of his hand.

  

take ram horns

 

自分:  The old man is surprised by your forwardness but it not so old that he can't avoid you.  "What are you doing!?" he screams.

 

respond "Your horns are cool.  I want them!"

 

 自分:  You say this.  There is no response.  Maybe he doesn't understand you?

 

summon lightning

 

 自分:  I do not understand "summon lightning"

 

mimic old man

 

 自分:  You match the old man's movements.  "What are you doing!?" he screams

 

reply "What are YOU doing?"

 

 自分:  the old man responds, "I am summoning lightning!  What does it look like?"

ask old man about summoning lightning

 

 自分:  I do not understand "summoning lightning"

 

absorb old man's powers like highlander

 

 自分:I do not understand "absorb"

  

tell old man about rabbit

 

自分:  What do you wish to tell?

 

tell old man about evil rabbit

 

 自分:  I do not understand "evil rabbit".  A large humanoid rabbit has reached the summit of the foothill.  It glares at you and taps it's foot.

 

  show rabbit to old man

 

 自分:  You show the rabbit to the old man.  "What are you doing?!" the old man screams

 

  show old man to rabbit

 

 自分:  You show the old man to the rabbit.  "WHHYYYYYYYY!?!?!?" it screams at you.

 

run forever

 

 自分:  I do not understand "forever"

 

  run away

 

 自分:  I do not understand away

"away"

 

exits

 

 自分:  Exits are down.

 

 go down

 

 自分:  You attempt to climb back down the foothill, but a large humanoid rabbit blocks your path

 

 take horns from old man

  

自分:  The old man is surprised by your forwardness but it not so old that he can't avoid you.  "What are you doing!?" he screams.

ask old man "Who are you?"

 

 自分:  The old man stops his conjuring.  "There are those who call me..... Tim?  Yes, I am Tim the conjurer.  I offer conjuring lessons and custom Ram horn hats for the best price you will get in this county"

 

ask old man for lessons

 

 自分:  "Ah, I see you want lessons in conjuring!  Very well, then you must do something for me.  You must get rid of that rabbit.  Talk to him.  He is such an asshole.  He bought one of my custom ram horn hats and never paid"

 

 talk to rabbit

 

 自分:  What do you want to say to the rabbit?

 

ask rabbit about horns

 

 自分:  The rabbit glares back at you, "WWWHHHYYYYY!?!?!?  WHY DID YOU KILL MY ONLY SON!?!?!"

 

respond "He tried to eat me"

 

 自分:  You respond in this way.  The large humanoid rabbit starts to weep softly.  He looks like he could use a hug.

 

 hug rabbit

 自分:  The rabbit bites off your head.  YOU ARE DEAD.  Restore last save?

load save game

 

 自分:  The large humanoid rabbit starts to weep softly.  He looks like he could use a hug.

 

 decapitate rabbit

  

自分:  How?

 

inventory

 

 自分:  You are holding:
rock

 

attack rabbit with rock

 自分:You attack the rabbit with a rock.  He bites your head off.  YOU HAVE DIED.  Restore last save?

 

load save

 

 自分:  The large humanoid rabbit starts to weep softly.  He looks like he could use a hug.

ask rabbit about horns

 

 自分:  The rabbit sniffles and wipes away a tear.  "Oh, those old things?  yeah.  I have them.  And the only way you are getting them back is if you see the horrible carnage you committed."

 

agree

 

 自分:  You agree to return to the rabbit hole.  The large humanoid rabbit moves to let you pass downhill.

 

go down

 

 自分:  you go down.  you are in the foothills of several bare mountains.  in the distance you hear lightning and thunder.

exits are west and up

 

  west

 

 自分:  you go west.  It is a lovely day aside from all the headless corpses around.  A large humanoid rabbit is waiting for you by a small rabbit hole.  Exits are north, east, and in the rabbit hole.

 

enter hole

 

 自分:  you enter the rabbit hole.  It is charred here.  Exits are out and down

 

down

 

 自分:  you go down.  The walls here are covered in blood.  Exists are up and down.

 

look at blood

 

 自分:  The blood appears to be from a rabbit

 

go up

 自分:  you go up. you enter the rabbit hole.  It is charred here.  A large humanoid rabbit blocks the exit out.  Exits are out and down.

 

apologize to rabbit

 

 自分:  You apologize to the rabbit.  "Go on.  You wanted to go down the rabbit hole didn't you?" he says.

 

go down

 

 自分:  you go down.  The walls here are covered in blood.  Exits are up and down.

down

 

 自分:  You go down and enter a wide portion of the rabbit hole.  Before you is a wooden door.  Exits are up and north.

 

  open door

 

 自分:  you open the door

 

  look

 

 自分:  You are in a wide portion of the rabbit hole.  Before you is an open wooden door.  Exits are up and north.

 

 look through door

 

 自分:  You cannot see through the doorway.  Cosmic interference or something.

 

enter door

 

 自分: You have entered your bedroom.  There is a bookshelf here.  There is a large comfortable bed.  Your girlfriend sits in the bed reading.  She sees you enter and asks "Why aren't you wearing pants?"

YOU WIN



Go on.  Make your own adventure :)